the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
false alarm. still invincible.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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