the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
