She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
