She said her name was "party"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm always down for nudity.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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