oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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