Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
