I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
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