Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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