You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
