I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
