I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
