I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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