But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
