I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
