I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
