We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
