I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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