so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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