no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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