Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We need to feng shui this bitch.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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