We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
