Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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