I'm lost and stupid without you.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
