what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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