Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
