You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
