Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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