mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
