one two three fourrrrnication!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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