ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
