No stitches, just platelets and will power
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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