Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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