Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
