just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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