he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
