Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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