Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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