She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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