So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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