don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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