no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
