No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
