porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
