I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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