Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
