bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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