I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
we're so committed to being not committed
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
