Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
