very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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