you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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