elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
