omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
